In fact, the understanding of our true nature is the simplest thing on earth. We have to, repeatedly, not be doing anything. The problem is: we cannot help but doing something, hoping something, trying something, anything, to get us where we think we should be. Where we are is never enough; never somewhere we should go to. What we are is not satisfying; we have to attain something that is better, no matter what. Even being, we think that we have to be being it — as if we were not already being. In all analysis, there is in fact such a thing as ‘nothing to do’ in spirituality, but only at the point when we are already not doing anything. If we are doing something, well, then we are doing something. This doing is an expression of our belief in not being ‘there’ yet, in our incompleteness, in our striving to get somewhere, to be someone. Then we have de facto missed all possibility of realisation: for we are already established in doing, in efforting. At this point, it is too late to not be doing anything. We need to revise our judgement.
We have been overtrained in doing. Maybe this doing is in fact what we have become — the essence of our self as a seemingly separate entity. We are born the moment we have the impulse of doing something, of being a doer, a knower. This is our original mistake, what we should never have been doing. We think we have to be somebody; to be nobody is a curse, a shame, an emptiness that we have to fill at all cost, even at the cost of losing ourself. So there is comfort in being a self, a somebody, in achieving something, in doing anything at all. The fact that we should be suffering for it, and be limited by it, well that’s the nature of existence, are we told. We are willing to pay that price for doing something, for being somebody. So let me do. Let me be. That’s how to feel ‘I am’ for now. That’s the story which was handed down to us. That’s how we have been regimented by society. And we have by now rehearsed it long enough, to perfection. We think that we’re not doing it when the doing has already been achieved. We are in fact implementing doing all the time while believing we are not doing it. This is the greatest trick that was ever performed on us.
If you’re waiting for the doer of your spiritual enquiry to get enlightened, to receive some special understanding, then you will be waiting for a very long time. There is only one unenlightened being within you: it is that non-existing doer, the one self that thinks it exists when it doesn’t. Remove that one, or rather notice its not being here, and there it is: your self liberated from the shackles of being a self; your deed freed from the believed necessity of there being a doer of it. For the doer will limit your doing. It will colour it with its conditioning and idiosyncrasies. It will compel it. See that society as it is now is the result of this compelled, biased doing. See where this belief has led the world. So the doing from the position of being a doer is never innocent. It is not a peaceful doing. It bears with it the agitation, confusion, and limitations of the doer. And yet, the paradox is: the doing from a position of being a doer is an impossible claim, an impossible thing to do. One of our most stubborn conditionings is to think there is a doer behind all of our doings. No. None of our doings have ever been performed by a doer. There is no doer doing the things we do. The doer is a phantom. It is just another more mechanical doing that has settled in your being. The doer is only an appearance, a habit, a thought that comes later in the show, when the doing has already been done. For the doer is a proud entity, it wants to do the doing. It wants to take the applauds. It enjoys an ego trip. The doer is a belief in being a somebody, a controller, a someone to be praised, or to be blamed.
So there never was a doer behind all that we have done. Only the belief of one, and that makes a hell of a difference. For the doer behind the doing is really spoiling the game. It robs it from its innocence. It perverts it. As for your spiritual quest, don’t ever forget this one simple guidance: There is nothing to do the moment you see that the doer is absent. If you don’t notice the absence of the doer, then it is dishonest to not be doing anything. For the simple reason that you are already doing something. You are already looking for something. You are already engaged in a pursuit. Harsh and confused is the deed done with a doer in mind. Fluid and natural is the deed when the doer retires. Don’t bring in the idea of a doer behind your doing. Your doing will then be liberated. It will be freed from the shackles of fear, of self-consciousness. There is a naturalness in doing, in the same way that there is a naturalness in being. Meditate the question: What would my doing be without a doer? I think this is a beautiful question to ask. And a very potent one. No doing will ever be a hindrance to peaceful being, as long as it has no doer as an accomplice. Such doing is an innocent one, in the sense that it is deprived of the faculty of injuring, or harming the truth of simply being. So do what you do from the position of not being a doer. See that there is beauty and a gentle ecstasy contained in such innocent doing. And then… Well, then do what you will.
.
~~~
Text and photo by Alain Joly
~~~
.
Suggestion:
– Other ‘Reveries’ from the blog…
.
Back to Pages
.
The Dawn Within 