‘A Quiet Monastery’ – Isaac Levitan, 1890 – Wikimedia
.
“Open, O doors and bolts of my heart,
that Christ the King of Glory may enter!”
~ Dimitry of Rostov
.
Prayer is an invitation for what is already here to show itself up. It is not that you already know who you are, and that you-the person are begging for a supreme entity, or for an other, to come and soothe you, for an external, benevolent providence to shower you with its benefits. Remember that there is no other entity than the entity of your self, no other providence than the providence of recognising who you are. Nothing, in matters of peace and happiness, could ever enter into you that is not already there. So don’t make that mistake over and over again: to wait for someone knocking at your door, to hope for something to fulfil you, to expect a new element to enter your life. The benefit of life is not with something you receive, but in what you recognise yourself to be. So prayer is prior. It is not in reaching but in realising, not in expecting but in recognising, not in receiving but in noticing, and not in having or possessing, but in being.
So always pray as if you were utterly alone. Pray as if you couldn’t ask anything, anyone, any favour or event, to give you something that is not already there in you, as you, expressed as your very own being. Notice that nothing of worth could ever enter your house that is not already present, already eating at your table, already thinking the thoughts you think, already dreaming the dreams you dream. This is how Dimitry’s prayer ought to be uttered. This is how Dimitry of Rostov, that golden-worded preacher of the Word of God, has meant it to be: that you don’t beg for anything outside the verity of your self. Any other way will lead you to the darkness contained in belief and hope, though you in fact only desire the light of what is, the brightness of your own glorious, achieved, complete, infinite presence.
So don’t pray for anything entering your house. Shut the door. Stay enclosed in the house of your self. Don’t move away from the privacy of your home as being. Worship only what you already have, what you already are. Acknowledge its worth. This is the meaning of ‘worship’, to notice the worth of your self, that part of your being which has the preciousness of a kingdom of heaven. You have heard it so often: “The kingdom of God is in within you” (Luke, 17:21). These are not words pronounced randomly, thrown at the face of the world with a hazardous meaning. They have the deepest of meanings. They are literal. Nothing of worth could ever be found outside your self, for there is no outside, nobody and nothing other than your very own sense of being. This being is pervading everything that you could ever perceive or feel or think. This being is your prayer. So you can only ever pray for your self, for that which you are after you have abandoned all that you could get hold of. Prayer is for that which is unreachable, ungraspable. All that you have always wanted to own is already your own, though you may have failed to notice it.
So as Dimitry of Rostov once said in a sermon, “punish the evil with mercy”, for not a single thought of separation can withstand a steady and wholehearted embrace with the reality of your shared being. Notice that you hold your freedom behind bars, and prevent the gush of peace that is your life with a single thought of being limited, separate, and therefore needy. So you are bound to the suffering contained in that thought. Being blind to your responsibility in veiling the peace of your being, you are therefore seeking it outside yourself. So you are always only a thought away from the happiness you seek. This is what prayer is, to keep that thought at bay, and let your being be just as it is: unfettered and whole, therefore at peace.
Prayer is a direct knowledge, a knowledge that doesn’t need to be mediated by your thoughts or by your senses. Prayer is a direct experience of the One. Blessed with that understanding, you won’t ever have to run again, or hope, or expect, or beg for anything that is not already had. You will never burden experience with the aim of fulfilling yourself. A prayer well uttered is always only a praise to God. Not a begging but a thankfulness, not a lacking or a suffering but a rejoicing, not an ignoring but a knowing. That’s what prayer ought to be: a dance with your inner “divine fire”. Then, and only then, when all that is clear, dare to pronounce Dimitry’s prayer:
.
“Open, O doors and bolts of my heart, that Christ the King of Glory may enter!
Enter, O my Light, and enlighten my darkness;
Enter, O my Life, and resurrect my deadness;
Enter, O my Physician, and heal my wounds;
Enter, O Divine Fire, and burn up the thorns of my sins;
Ignite my inward parts and my heart with the flame of Thy love;
Enter, O my King, and destroy in me the kingdom of sin;
Sit on the throne of my heart and alone reign in me, O Thou, my King and Lord!”
~ Dimitry of Rostov
.
~~~
Text by Alain Joly
Prayer by Dimitry of Rostov (1651-1709)
Painting by Isaac Levitan (1860-1900)
~~~
.
Websites:
– Demetrius of Rostov (Wikipedia)
– Isaac Levitan (Wikipedia)
– A Quiet Monastery (Wikipedia)
.
– Back to Pages
.
The Dawn Within 